One more sleep

Ultrasound is tomorrow. Kind of a day of reckoning. Is Bubble still going strong or did he not make it to the point where his heart started beating.

I’ve been feeling terrible so my gut says yes. All is well in there. But who knows? Could be the progesterone or the estrogen making me sick.

Could be that he’s hanging in there and bumping my hormones but not doing what he needs to do to make it in the long haul.

I’ve been wondering when I’ll start to think of this as a pregnancy blog and not a TTC blog. I know that I’m pregnant. And no longer TTC – but it still doesn’t seem far enough along for me to make the mental leap. Which I am willing to bet is even more annoying to those who are reading who are still where I was during this IVF cycle. Old me – if I were reading this would be thinking – You have what we all want, what you’ve been wanting. Why the hell aren’t you jumping for joy. Celebrate dammit. You’re further than ever before and you’re moping around like you were before any of this happened.

So tomorrow – if all is as it should be – I will celebrate. Maybe not jump for joy because my heaving bosom is enormous…but embrace it more fully.

Maybe even change the picture up there.

Lub Dub

According to my pregnancy books, Bubble’s heart is supposed to start beating today. We have no way of knowing until next Thursday if this particular miracle actually happened – but I am choosing to believe it did.

That Little Bubble’s heart has started beating in double time with mine. We’re six weeks in now and it seems just as precarious today as the first day we saw the other line.

I went to see my family doc for an OB referral. I asked him for someone who’s good with the nervous.  He asked me when I thought my nerves would subside. I told him maybe in about 9 months or so. It remains to be seen if the Baby Doc is as understanding as my Doc lead me to believe.

We’ll find out next friday.

I imagine with every beat of that teeny tiny heart, my heart grows just a little more. I hope we get the chance to find out if the Bubble has enough room in there eight months from now, with my swollen heart taking up so much space.