Summer Holiday

Away on vacation. Things are going well – so far no real dry heaving in front of 10 of husband’s family. Doing a little shopping for bub. need to get over jinxy feeling and start getting ready for him.

boy cloths are cuter here in the usa.

Called in a favour…

because not knowing what Bubble’s gonna be – boy or girl – was killin’ me.

So had a super quick ultrasound today. Only took a sec to see that the Bubble has BOY BITS!

It’s blue for us. A bouncing baby Bubble made of snakes and snails and puppy dog tails.

Oh, and it was confirmed that he’s completely flipped since my last sneak peak with his head digging into one side of my pelvis, his bum pushing out on the other side of my belly button giving me a lopsided bump and his feet kicking directly into my bladder. Not his most comfortable position to this point…

Back to Blech

With my Diclectin prescription officially over by 5 days I can say without hesitation that I’m one of those people who has morning sickness well past 12 weeks.

Had two full throw-up close calls today and am averaging about 12 dry heave sessions per day. I have the full sea sickies all morning and for about 2 hours in the later afternoon.

Will it never end? Have doc appointment on friday and will be begging for more drugs – no question. Hard to function in this state and am on vacation with family next week. Kind of hard to have family dinners when the smell of food leads to the heave ho.

How soon is too soon…

Put this one under the list of troubles I realize I am lucky to have…

Whatever trouble is that you ask? Baby Shower trouble. Now first, I feel very lucky to be in the position to be the recipient of a baby shower – knowing full well that I dodged my fair share in the past and am perhaps not deserving of the fuss but am grateful just the same. And also lucky to still be close with my girlfriends from high school (grade school, pre-school in some cases) even though we’re spread out across the country.

Herein lies the trouble. We’re gathering for a visit in a few weeks – a rare opportunity to all be together – and they’ve asked if I’d mind if we did a little something for the baby even though it’s early.

On one hand I’m terrified that counting ones bubble before it’s hatched is a terrible idea – there’s still so much that can go wrong.

On the other hand – we’ll be 24 weeks along and at some point I need to stop being a paranoid freak and accept that friends and family want to celebrate the eventual arrival of Bub – and this particular group likely won’t be together again for a year or more.

So maybe I should say yes, let’s celebrate. Or maybe I should say thanks – but lets wait till the baby is here.

Is there a right or wrong thing to do in a case like this?

Half Baked

It’s quite remarkable to me that Bubble is half done.

When I look back – way, way back – there were certainly more than 20 weeks involved in getting Bubble this far. But the time before – the trying and the disappointment and the tears – seems so distant from the new normal.

It’s so strange to be looking back at day 1 of Bubble or as they count it – LMP (last menstrual period) – which wasn’t for me technically but it’s the date that gets logged back timing from retrieval date. It was Feb 14 – Valentine’s Day. First Day of Stim’s. And it came and went without much fanfare. Only hindsight makes it a memorable day.

Looking forward to Nov 20 – due date – is also weird. I never really thought I’d have one. And it’s now a circle on the calendar marking a special occasion that has never been there before and may not really be on that exact day. And may still not – considering how many things go awry in this world – happen at all.

So as we mark this 1/2 way milestone I look back with gratitude that we’ve been able to get here, forward with hope that we will celebrate in earnest around 20 weeks from now and I make an attempt to put away the baggage from before and the fear that plagues tomorrow and enjoy today for what it is. We’re half way to Bubble and that makes today a very good day.

Bubble moves…

But only on the inside. As we march towards the halfway point I find I am constantly amazed by the new physical aspects of carrying bubble, the new fears and anxieties that had never occurred to me before, and the way time can move in slow motion and fast forward at the same time.

We still have only puppets and books – the nursery is still an office for two/junk room/construction staging zone. You could not fit a baby in there if you used a shoe horn. We have nothing for Bubble to sleep on – or in for that matter. No baby safety, baby feeding, baby diapering ( though we did try today to do some instore research on cloth diapers but the store was closed for a holiday).

Considering the years it took to get to this point – you’d think I’d feel better prepared – but I’m still quite taken with having gotten this far and haven’t really moved on to preparing for what’s next.

Though I must admit – today’s frog puppet might be the cutest one yet!