Nothing is easy.
So the pediatrician had also been wondering if she was seeing ‘something’ with Obi. When I told Hubs I thought there may be something up, he poo-poo’d me. But at the appointment when we were discussing the milestones she hasn’t hit (all of them) he mentioned that I thought she may have a chromosomal issue.
Apparently the doc had been wondering too. She pointed out the facial features she had been mentally keeping track of, unable to decide if it’s just how she looks or if they were soft markers. Add that to the tiny size both in utero, and now, some other issues related to feeding, sleeping, and her physicality and she has enough to be concerned.
We’ve now been officially referred to Genetics at Sick Kids. It may be nothing. But mothers intuition tells me it is not nothing. Something is up.
I didn’t want to be right about making a mountain out of her missing milestones. I wanted the doctor to tell me I was crazy. Though I knew, deep down, I was not.
Now the mountain has turned into Everest and I have no guide, not equipment, no sherpa to help bear the weight of this burden. Not even enough oxygen.
Could be nothing. But it’s going to be a long uphill climb to find out either way. If it is something, I have a whole lifetime of advocating, fiercely protecting, championing and reminding the world how perfect she is.
Today though, I’m very sad that she may not be the ‘perfect’ I wanted for her. Very sad indeed.