You think you’d get used to the waiting

Dealing with infertility, the IVF journey and pregnancy itself are all about waiting. At each stage, you think “Ok only, X more days (weeks, months) to wait”…and as soon as that time comes, there seems to just be more days to count, clocks to watch.
We have our appointment with the genetics people on the 24th and an echocardiogram scheduled next week for little Obi.
So we’re standing by for those.

I’m also still waiting for that first smile – sigh. But she does seem to be making eye contact (since March 29) and I believe has been following objects since the 6th of April- though not reliably. She will grasp something she grazes with her hand, like a bib, blankie or toy that is placed on her belly too, but that seems more like reflex than intention to me.

She does not turn to my voice yet. I think when she lights up a little upon my entering a room my days will be a little brighter.

I’m trying my best to live in the moment and not get too caught up in all the “what if’s”. Should we find answers, I will no longer be living in the bliss of ‘it’s probably nothing’ so I’m trying to let my mind hang out there.

Hopefully is it ACTUALLY nothing and all this is just over precaution.

Today, she’s just a baby being a baby – doing most of the things babies do.

And I don’t need to wait for someone to tell me she’s perfect. I can see that all on my own.



Filed under ivf

2 responses to “You think you’d get used to the waiting

  1. B

    (Lurker here. I don’t even know how I found your site a while back.) My nearly 2-year-old has a chromosomal abnormality and it has taken us a full year of evaluations, clinic visits, tests, etc., to come to the point where we are at today (with an actual diagnosis, though it really doesn’t a mean a heck of a lot).

    You’re fortunate in that IF something is indeed off there, you’re catching it early. As I’m sure you know, early intervention is key. My daughter got started with interventions about a year ago and is making amazing progress (oh-so-close to being on track for her age), though she, admittedly, is still developmentally delayed.

    Also, your pediatrician sounds super sharp. At that is a great help as well.

    All the best. I do hope it ends up being nothing and that all your worrying is for naught.

    But if you do have to travel this road, I wish you strength.

    And a sense of humor (that’s always helped me anyway).

  2. Kristen

    Driving home from those visits to the genetic docs, I would always remind myself that the she’s the same sweet little girl I walked in there with….I may have had the wind knocked out of me, but she has not changed.

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