Monthly Archives: April 2013

The new normal

Yesterday we met with the genetics clinic at our local children’s hospital. Seems wee Obi does indeed raise some flags for a genetic issue.

We’re wading into unknown territory here. At least for us. We’ve already done the blood draw for the micro array. They’ve also submitted for a more specific test. Their first suspicion is Russell-Silver Syndrome or some abnormality in the same family.

They also felt there might be a vision problem, which might be partially responsible for her delays.

When we got home from the appointment I did some digging online – I can’t really call it research as I didn’t take 10th grade biology let alone genetics and was completely overwhelmed by the science of it all. I did see that there are some references to people studying a connection between RSS and IVF specifically with ICSI. And another study showed a high incidence of eye trouble in babies with RSS – even though that’s the one thing the genetics Dr said was inconsistent with RSS.

All in all, it’s wait and see for now. They said to expect 3 months for results and even longer for referrals to ophthalmology and MRI. I fear hoping “it’s nothing” is no longer realistic.

But in terms of bad news, RSS isn’t the worst.
This certainly comes with a whole bundle of mixed up feelings, but whatever is revealed can’t be changed.

The life I imagined for Obi may not come to be just as I pictured, but that picture was never real.

This is her real path. It seems like it won’t be typical. But it will be our normal. And we’ll just have to figure out how to make it great.

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Filed under 4th IVF, ivf

You think you’d get used to the waiting

Dealing with infertility, the IVF journey and pregnancy itself are all about waiting. At each stage, you think “Ok only, X more days (weeks, months) to wait”…and as soon as that time comes, there seems to just be more days to count, clocks to watch.
We have our appointment with the genetics people on the 24th and an echocardiogram scheduled next week for little Obi.
So we’re standing by for those.

I’m also still waiting for that first smile – sigh. But she does seem to be making eye contact (since March 29) and I believe has been following objects since the 6th of April- though not reliably. She will grasp something she grazes with her hand, like a bib, blankie or toy that is placed on her belly too, but that seems more like reflex than intention to me.

She does not turn to my voice yet. I think when she lights up a little upon my entering a room my days will be a little brighter.

I’m trying my best to live in the moment and not get too caught up in all the “what if’s”. Should we find answers, I will no longer be living in the bliss of ‘it’s probably nothing’ so I’m trying to let my mind hang out there.

Hopefully is it ACTUALLY nothing and all this is just over precaution.

Today, she’s just a baby being a baby – doing most of the things babies do.

And I don’t need to wait for someone to tell me she’s perfect. I can see that all on my own.

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Filed under ivf