Tag Archives: whining

At the Crossroads

Now that we know crisis to Bubble has been averted, I have another that’s been on my mind.

I’m having a bit of identity crisis – one that I suspect many infertiles find themselves having once they see the second line on the stick.

My whole world has been shaped by IF for more than 2 years (longer than some, not even close to as long as others). Now that there’s a Bubble in the oven, I have to admit, I feel a bit lost.

I feel a bit like a traitor to my infertile friends – I had the audacity to jump ship to the island of breeders. And I feel my easy-come-fertile pregnant friends just aren’t the same kind of pregnant.

They’re not worried about cramps that go bump in the night, or wondering when they can start to believe they’re really, really pregnant. They have some twinges – no big deal. They’re picturing a nursery, planning their mat leave.

And my infertile friends are looking at options, deciding what’s next, counting down days and counting up follicles. I completely get where they’re at. I just don’t quite know how to deal with where I’m at.

I am very aware that at any given moment I could be right back where I was before. But I’m pretty sure I’ll never be where the other pregsters are. So what does that make me?

Do all find-themselves-fertalized-infertiles feel so ambushed by these feelings  of having one foot in both camps- or am I just a big whiner?

I feel like a big whiner. Boo to me.

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