How soon is too soon…

Put this one under the list of troubles I realize I am lucky to have…

Whatever trouble is that you ask? Baby Shower trouble. Now first, I feel very lucky to be in the position to be the recipient of a baby shower – knowing full well that I dodged my fair share in the past and am perhaps not deserving of the fuss but am grateful just the same. And also lucky to still be close with my girlfriends from high school (grade school, pre-school in some cases) even though we’re spread out across the country.

Herein lies the trouble. We’re gathering for a visit in a few weeks – a rare opportunity to all be together – and they’ve asked if I’d mind if we did a little something for the baby even though it’s early.

On one hand I’m terrified that counting ones bubble before it’s hatched is a terrible idea – there’s still so much that can go wrong.

On the other hand – we’ll be 24 weeks along and at some point I need to stop being a paranoid freak and accept that friends and family want to celebrate the eventual arrival of Bub – and this particular group likely won’t be together again for a year or more.

So maybe I should say yes, let’s celebrate. Or maybe I should say thanks – but lets wait till the baby is here.

Is there a right or wrong thing to do in a case like this?



Filed under ivf

4 responses to “How soon is too soon…

  1. SIL

    I don’t think there’s a right or wrong; these are good friends and they’ll understand your preferences. I don’t think it’s too early if you’re comfortable with it, but it’s a rather big if. People I work with wanted to do a surprise shower at 23 1/2 weeks (because someone was moving away) ; E told them I’d be really upset. They compromised and planned a mommy shower. So that morning, when I was having contractions and deciding whether to go to the hospital, E had to tell me the plan and then call them to cancel. An ambulance ride and 3 nights in the hospital later… no one (not superstitious even me) thought their planning caused it, but I just was uncomfortable with the whole thing. On the other hand, we totally weren’t ready when the babes came, and I’d be assembling lamps and ordering remaining items between nursing and pumping. I think I had my actual shower around 28 or 30 weeks, which I was comfortable with given viability stats. So figure out what’s good for you, and be honest with your friends about it, and why!

  2. I don’t think now is too soon, however, if you don’t feel comfortable doing a total “baby shower” maybe you could compromise and doing a “Pregnancy Celebration” shower. That way you can celebrate how far you’ve come in this pregnancy and how thankful and excited you all are for it. That way everyone can still celebrate the pregnancy and the baby, but not make you feel uncomfortable about jinxing the arrival.

  3. Nic

    I think the pregnancy shower is a good idea. You should do what is best for you though. Maybe just by having some form of celebration but not calling it a ‘baby shower’ maybe enough to calm the anxiety? If you dont want any celebration then tell people, I am sure they understand. Just make sure all of your worries (which we all understand!) does not prevent you from enjoying this pregnancy. I dont want you to look back and wish you had enjoyed it all a little more.
    Sorry, conflicting arguements! At the end of the day, do what makes you happy, you and bubble are the most important thing right now

  4. rosesdaughter

    Let me know what you decide. I am still scared to clean out the room that is supposed to be the nursery, let alone think about a baby shower. Logically, I know that everything should be okay, but…………

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