Still Rising

So, the pity blood test numbers are in – pity as in they are taking pity on me and my basketcasoity and are letting me come for once-a-week beta tests until my ultrasound on the 14th.
The number yesterday? Around 3300?3800? (I have the exact number written down at work). The initial doubling time was 38 hours and has slowed to 43 hours but it still quite quick as they expect it to take more than 48 hours for the doubling.
So everything is going just fine. Technically anyway. I’m not doing all that well with this one. I thought I was a worry-wart with Shane. I had no idea how crazy I could actually get.
Turns out – pretty crazy.
I’m not sure how I’m actually going to make it through to…well, to “Ihavenoideawhattoexpectandthatistheworstpartofallthisbutatsomepointwewilleitherhaveababyorwewillloseababyandthentheworrywillbedonecomewhatmay”
That time seems a long way from now. So the beta and the anxiety are both rising.
So is the size of my bo.som and the size of the waves I seem to be riding on at least a few hours a day causing a rather pronounced feeling of sea-sickness.
5w2d today.
Tomorrow is another day.
Less than 2 weeks to ultrasound now.
Deep breaths.


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