At what point are you just a crazy lady?

We had our follow-up appointment and the doctor was very frank about where we are. A live baby. A miscarriage. A chemical. The next stop is usually nothing to transfer. End of the line.

When we came into the clinic in early 2009, our chances of success were in the 75-80% range – the perfect candidates for IVF.

Now, he estimates our chances at >10%. Less than 10!

On the other hand, he can see how the circumstances might leave us wondering if things might have been different. And, despite those low odds, there are couples in our situation who do get pregnant. And, there are tweaks to the protocol he can make to try and optimize what is basically a crap situation if we decided that we did, in fact, want to try again.

The greatest factor to be considered, in his mind, is how much we can take? How much can I withstand emotionally, how much can our marriage withstand.

I got the sense that he believes we’d try again to have the closure that comes from knowing you did everything you could.
And, yes, there is a small chance we’d have a baby. But it is more likely we would not.

I think I need that closure. But I also think it’s crazy to do it all again just so you can prove to yourself that you’re never going to get what you want – once and for all.

Are you crazy for trying again? crazy for not trying again? Are you already a crazy lady regardless?

What would you do?


1 Comment

Filed under ivf

One response to “At what point are you just a crazy lady?

  1. Miho_She

    I would try once more. But not just to know that I’ve done everything. I would do it because of the 10% chance. It ain’t over until it’s over.
    Stay sane and be brave! We’ve all been there. Hugs.

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