Beta Day

This is the first Beta Day since this IVF journey I’m not thrilled to be living. Once it became clear to me this was not a successful cycle I was drawn back in time to our IUI days in summer and fall of 2008. I had pushed them out of my memory as they weren’t good days. I was so filled with hope starting that process then month after month the hope was stomped until I didn’t really have much of it left. Even starting the IVF process months later, I was still riding the wave of defeat set off by those failed attempts.
Just got the call that beta is less than 2.39. Negative. Effectively zero. Stop the meds. Stop the wondering if we’re the weird case you read about on the internet that gets a positive beta despite about $100 in pee sticks telling you otherwise.
Eqq quality? Stress? Reason to believe there’s still a chance? Time to accept there’s no brother or sister out there for the Bub and there never will be?


I’d love to stay and chat but there’s a restaurant lunch with a glass of wine waiting for me. And these tears might just fry my computer.



Filed under ivf

2 responses to “Beta Day

  1. janice

    M, im so sorry 😦

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