never never

I’m having a hard time. I’ll admit it. I’m alright when I’m safe at home where Baby Olive was a real thing that happened to everyone who lives in the house. But outside my own little world it hits home to me that Olive will never be part of the world at large. Never go to the grocery store. Never go to my office. Outside of my walls it’s like Olive wasn’t. The baby didn’t exist to anyone out there. There are no remnants or reminders. No spit up stains. No lingering objects or lasting memories. No one can say “Oh that baby, I think I caught a glimpse of that baby.” There were no glimpses. Not one. The world will never, never remember Olive. And it’s breaking my heart to know that I can’t expect it to.

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2 Comments

Filed under ivf

2 responses to “never never

  1. My heart just breaks for you, and Olive, and your husband, and Bubble1. Wishing and hoping that you are surrounded by as many loving, caring people in real life as you are in blogworld.

  2. sprogblogger

    I am so sorry. I know how feeble it is to say that, but I am.

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