It’s like the covert arm pit sniff…

You know, when you see someone (ok someone like me) do some weird stretchy move then lean in and take a big whiff to see if they’re stinky?
The bo.ob equivalent is what I keep doing to my chest. Cross my arms in front and squeeze? Does that make them hurt? nope.
How about press my bag against them? nope. Brrr, it’s cold in here…and squeeze. Still nope.
I’m not feeling very prego here. Not that I did this early the last time or anything. Not that anyone on the internet, even if you spend an hour or maybe two googling it, feels anything this early.
But it seems like I should get to feel something by now.
Except this feeling of dread that creeps over me in quiet times that whispers “negative, negative, negative.
I forgot how much I hate this wait. (sorry, had to stop typing for a bo.ob check – nothing) I really is the worst.
Oh – and in case I didn’t mention it – our last little guy didn’t make it. So these two on board – they’re our only hope. My last hope. Which just splits my heart right open.
I just don’t feel ready to say, we’re done.


Filed under 2nd ivf, 2WW, infertility, ivf

3 responses to “It’s like the covert arm pit sniff…

  1. I remember well the constant covert-boob-check. I was pretty sure people were going to think I was insane. Fingers crossed and prayers said for a positive result for you.

  2. S

    Here from cyclesista. . . .

    Progesterone always makes my b00bs sore, so I don’t do the covert b00b check. But I do over-analyze every little tiny twinge below my belly button and obsessively check the TP for “implantation bleeding” after each trip to the ladies’ room.

    Here’s hoping these last two embryos are all you need to get your BFP.

  3. Hoping for the best possible outcome for these two, despite your doubts.

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