Deja Vu

Despite being in a totally different headspace – I find I am having more ‘here we again’ feelings than I expected. And not in a good way.

Already the wondering, the if/if not planning, the justification if it doesn’t work, the hope. The Hope. The maybe I shouldn’t hope.

Themaybeweshouldn’tdoitandshouldjustbehappywithwhatwehaveandnotopenthatcanofwormsbecauseIthoughtI couldhandlethisbutmaybeIcan’t’s.

And we’re just going for consultation this week. Deep breath.

As I’m writing this, Bubble is hugging his stuffed cat and dancing in the living room to his music player. So then I think ‘how can we not?’. Just one try. Just one round. Just in case.

Just in case there’s another Bubble out there for us.

In case this really is Deja vu.

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4 Comments

Filed under ivf

4 responses to “Deja Vu

  1. I hope it is! Never be afraid to hope. I’ll be praying for you. I wish you every happiness! ~ Carrie-Anne

  2. The Barreness

    Yep, the secondary infertility sucks. In a way because you know what you are trying for (because what you have already is so great) the impetus to get it right and NOW seems even stronger. The driver to get the age spacing right, the worry about what will happen if it doesn’t work; that’s all very familiar.

    But go into it preparing for it to be a long journey, that’s all I can suggest. We’ve just had a failed cycle, which we were kind of bracing for, but still disappointing after being so lucky the first time around. We’re open to doing it another 2-3 times, and then we’ll be done I think. I think for us and for her sake, this TTC#2 will have an expiry date; and in the meantime it’s about being grateful for the oh so precious gift we already have. I hope you’re journey is quick though!

  3. I’m right there with you…the hope…the I shouldn’t dare to hope. UGH…IVF is such a roller coaster…I didn’t think I would ever get back on for another ride, but here I am. I’ll hope for you if you’ll hope for me!! :o)

  4. Jen

    I’m right there with you…the hope, the I shouldn’t dare to hope…UGH! IVF is such a roller coaster. I didn’t think I’d ever get back on for another ride, but here I am. I’ll hope for you if you’ll hope for me! ;o)

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