I have a thinking job. It’s all about idea generation and the next big thing.
Well, my thinker isn’t thinking so good. I’m foggy with exhaustion, hunger, thirst, what kind of stroller we should get. I’m usually clawing tooth and nail to have “the” idea – the one that people get excited about. Now I’m excited when I get to go home and sleep.
Not sure whether I’ll adjust over the next 6 months – or if the days of building my career are over. It’s sad to think that time has passed. But really, I’m too tired to care right now.
Perhaps a big idea will come to me while I sleep.
Must…contain…giant…bust…can no longer…wrestle…into pre-bubble…sports bra.
Today my workout started before my workout. I went 3 rounds with one of my sports bras from days past before conceding I would need a new one of those too.
Later today I popped into a local sports store. I grabbed a bigger (their biggest) size and headed into the dressing room. It fit perfectly (for now) which was great. What wasn’t great was the “inner tube” effect caused by my new elastic waist pants. I just wasn’t prepared for the overhead florescent light reality check that is my expanding self.
Later still, when describing the moment of truth to husband, I said something like “being pregnant is many things, wondrous, miraculous…but it isn’t pretty.”
“Yes it is. I think it’s beautiful” was his response.
So I shut up. ‘Cause it was hard to argue with that.
Well, everyone who has written a book on pregnancy and claimed you don’t start showing till about 5 months can go to hell. Today I ran into our real estate agent. Likeable fellow I haven’t seen since Dec.
When he asked “what’s new?” I said “well we’ve got exciting news!”
His response? “I can see that.” Nice.
It’s going to be a long and wide ride. 5 months my ass. There’s no hiding my already expanding belly.
Anybody else protruding sooner that expected?
All went well at the scan today. Measurement was well within normal range and the pics I got were awesome!
It’s feeling really real now. How real? Check out this pic of my ultrasound pic…(no scanner)
I love the fist waving in the air.
Oh, and I asked the tech what she thought of the gender.
Her money is on girl.
Hey all – nothing about the Bubble today – it’s late. I had to finish my story about the car I’m trying to win. Tomorrow – (friday) is the last day for votes – so if you have a sec – click on that site over there on the side and vote for me.
NT scan is tomorrow. Not sure if I’ll walk out of there knowing anything but I’ll let you know how it goes just the same.
I’m a little nervous (ya think?). In this case about my bad back and pregnancy, delivery and postpartum – and when I mentioned it to my RE a few weeks back he referred me to a medically supervised fitness program for expectant mothers. Great! So I saw the doc, did the assessment, came to terms with the $$$ and set up my first session.
Now I admit – I thought stretching, some core work maybe. A little more stretching.
Yeah – no. I had a full strength weight workout tonight. My legs are rubber. My arms are sticks (ample sticks) of fire and every inch of me is crying uncle.
I don’t think I’m going to be able to get out of bed tomorrow. Now my back doesn’t hurt (at least not yet) so that’s a good sign. And I know intellectually it’s going to help in the long run. But owww. Ouwwwwch.
Ug – today was a very bad day until it wasn’t.
I was greeted at the office with a call to my boss’ office. When I sat down, he said he had hoped another person would be joining us, but she was still on the phone with HR.
I thought – oh shit – I’m being fired. I said “Oh shit, am I fired?”
My boss very quickly assured me I wasn’t – and wondered why I would think that…(duh-come to my office and let’s just wait for the person who’s been dealing with HR – what would you think?)
Well what you wouldn’t think is “We just got word that the person you work with 80% of the time has fifths disease and you need to leave right now and get to the doctor.”
Great! So first I make a pit stop at doctor google who basically tells me I have a one in ten chance of miscarriage. Then I FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Then I lose it in the elevator. Then I head to my GP who basically makes me feel like a loser who couldn’t possibly have been infected and if I was – there’s nothing they can do to help the baby. Then I call my OB who’s receptionist makes it sound like I have the plague and need to be tested right away so they’ll pass the message on to the doc when he’s in on FRIDAY. Then I continue to freak out.
Then I email my fertility clinic (sweet, sweet clinic. how I miss never feeling like a nutcase with you) to see if by any chance they screened for immunity when they did my entry tests.
In less than 10 min they emailed back that they had screened, I am immune. There is no danger to me and certainly no danger to the Bub.
Then I started to cry all over again – in public of course – and took the rest of the day off to recover from the emotional upheaval.
Now where did I put that doppler…
Still feel poorly from time to time but have had a couple of days of sweet relief from the blukkies. I guess this is the magical second trimester.
Of course, checked in with the home heart beat hearer and Bubble sounds just fine. So the end of sick is not cause for concern.
One thing I’ve found is you say good-bye to one thing and it’s hello to the next. In today’s case, new bras. Yup. With cups…the size…of my head! It’s beyond embarrassing. To prove the point of the giganticness of my new over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder I stuck it on my head. And low and behold it is totally my hat size. Granted I don’t have a huge head. But I do currently have huge kno.ckers.
And they’re still growing…
Wonder what tomorrow will bring?
On the eve of Mother’s day I would like to take a minute to acknowledge some Mothers.
I want to start with all the mothers who aren’t mine but mothered me – outside of my actual Mother. In addition to my Mom – who didn’t live with me growing up – I’d like to send Mother’s day love to my Dad, who endured far more than one Mother’s Day Tea and Mother Daughter banquet without batting an eye that he was the only man-mother there. Then my gram, my 3rd grade teacher, 4 of my friend’s Mothers who looked out for me in ways that went above and beyond, my cottage next door neighbour who ‘befriended’ me as a gangly pre-teen and walked me through adolescence without once letting on that I was a kid who needed guidance. None of these other mothers carried me but they cared for me in a way that fills my heart with joy every year on this day.
That being said, my Mom, especially in the last 10 years has proven to be a great role model, a champion for my sucess and a good friend. Now, with Bubble on the way, I feel even more delighted by our relationship. So tomorrow I will celebrate that as well.
Speaking of Bubble – I will also take a moment to celebrate the 12 weeks of mothering I have been lucky to participate in so far – you know, rather than jumping 6 months ahead. That’s for sometime in the future. And starting now I’m going to make a point of being more grateful for todays.
I remember not participating in MD at all the past few years – averting my eyes in the shops, staying away from brunch spots…so if you’re having sunday tomorrow – just a regular sunday – I really hope the sun is shining whereever you are.
I’ll be at the Pram Push for IVF Funding – an awareness walk here in Toronto. We’re trying to get IVF covered by provinical health care. So more people can become parents without the 12-??? thousand dollar price tag. Wish us luck!
I have it. feel crappy. stayed home from work today. hope tomorrow is better not worse. bubble sounds great though!