The Others

Sad news on our remaining 4 little fellers. All arrested so we’ve nothing to freeze.

Here are 4 things I feel about that.

1. This means if this cycle doesn’t turn out as we hope we have to start at the beginning. A thought that’s hard to comprehend at this time.

2. I feel more pressure for a BFP – as if there wasn’t enough of that already.

3. I wanted them to make it – I was rooting for them to pull through and I’m disappointed I didn’t make them strong enough to do so.

4. They were only part of my life for 6 days, but I loved them. And now they’re gone. And it may seem ridiculous but it’s sad just the same.

Not much else to report. Except if the probability of success increases in proportion to the increase of my bust size, we’re laughing.



Filed under ivf

12 responses to “The Others

  1. okay I must admit I think I am a little dyslexic..I have been reading your name as onepinkonline ( i totally get this from dad) in a HPT..seriously I have baby brain without the baby!!

  2. onepinkline

    Ok J, that’s just sad. We made it through 1 day. 13 to go…

  3. Oh girl, I am so sorry. I know what it’s like to miss something that you didn’t even see, but did carry for so long. I am sorry you didn’t get the chance to carry and nurture them once more. We lost two during our blast wait (before they froze) and I am heartbroken for them but the one thing that keeps me sane is that I have some left to look forward to. You have two perfect blasties in your belly so just try to focus on them. My thoughts are with you hun!

  4. I know exactly how you feel right now and I’m so sorry. It’s really tough to have nothing make it to freeze. There is still hope for the embabies you have on board, so just hold on to thoughts of them.

    Big hugs.

  5. The Barreness

    I know it’s tough when you feel like your last hope just blinked out. But you are carrying two very strong hopes inside, and (while it was trite when I heard it, I am proof) – you only need one. Still got my fingers crossed.

  6. Sorry to hear about your other four…you have every right to mourn for them. Just don’t let yourself get too far ahead and start planning. Try and enjoy the space you’re in–which I know from experience is totally easier said than done!

    Hang in there…

  7. That sucks. It is so sad to know your own embryos didn’t make it to be your hope, plus, survival.
    I was pretty convinced our lack of frozens meant we were doomed, but as other’s said, you have the best 2 inside you right now.

  8. I’m so sorry the 4 little fellers didn’t make it. It is okay to feel sad for them and to be overwhelmed by the pressure of making this cycle work. I’m thinking of you, and hoping the ones in your uterus continue to do well.

  9. I’m so sorry the others didn’t make it to freeze. Of course it’s not ridiculous to be upset about – I think we all would be.

    My doctors keep telling me to expect NO frozen embryos from the cycle, and any that we do get are a bonus. It’s hard not to wish for it, though.

    I have a lot of hope for you with the two inside, and sending many positive thoughts your way!!

  10. I’m sorry to hear of your others–I agree with everyone else, you have every right to feel how you feel– and sweetie, You did not make them “not strong enough”– they are their own selves, and this was not your fault. And I am so sorry–
    BUT also agreeing with the wise women above, you have several “on board” and they are in the best place possible. thinking of you.

  11. babysmiling

    Sorry about your four. Through two IVF cycles I’ve never had any make it to freeze. I would fear that it boded poorly for the ones they transferred, but it really shouldn’t because they transfer the best ones.

    Do you really have to wait 14 days for beta after a 5-day transfer? That is crazy-making!

    Good luck getting through the wait, and best wishes for a BFP.

  12. I am really sorry about your four. Keeping my fingers crossed though for your BFP!

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