Cue the Music

And another one bites the dust…

So you know that call? The call that on one hand makes you really happy and makes you want to throw up on the other?

Got two in a row today.

First, clinic called with results of today’s blood work. Recognized the number but the voice was not the nice weekend nurse lady. Oh no – male voice. The doc himself. Follies = 8 above 1.0. Estrogen= molasses. Apparently. So happy for eggs and want to throw up over possiblity of canceling the cycle.

Hang up the phone. Ring Ring. Hi friend who’s been trying to get pregant! Hey – third times the charm right? Congrats! Yay with the happy hand while throw up hand is wiping the stupid grin off my face.

Oh yes. We have good days and bad days. And some days we have both. All at once. Over and over again.

I’ve been thinking about this all day long. And I’m not sure if we get canceled that I’m prepared to do this again. On the happy hand it’s a small price to pay to get from A to Baby. On the vomit hand, it’s like going to a party being kicked in the gut and the ass and the big fat lip while every one around you is handed the only thing you want on a silver bumbo. And then you leave the party bloody and empty handed.

Just don’t know how much kicking I can take.


Filed under ivf

12 responses to “Cue the Music

  1. Oh no! What a rough couple of calls to have, and all in the same day. I’m so very sorry.

    I will be holding out hope that this IVF cycle is not cancelled and that it works for you. Please keep us posted.

  2. Mo

    Ugh. What a day. Don’t worry about making any decisions today. Just feel everything you’re feeling. And yeah, a lot of this IVF stuff feels like getting kicked in the gut over and over again. I keep thinking maybe it won’t the next time, but then it does. Thinking of you.


  3. Fingers are crossed that your cycle doesn’t get canceled. If it does and you need to vent, I TOTALLY get the whole canceled thing. In 5 potential transfers, I’ve had 3 canceled. You may not think you can handle this again, but I know you can! Stop by anytime you’d like.
    Again, lots of luck and thanks for visiting my blog. It’s nice to meet you. 🙂

  4. IF really makes us have to deal with those 2-handed(on the other…) moments. Too often.
    I think your estrogen sounded pretty good at last count. Mine went slow for one day(rose 150 after having gone up 450 the day before) and they just increased my luveris. Good luck.

  5. Im sorry for a couple of rough calls. I hope your cycle doesnt get canceled

  6. Oh man…this sucks. Congrats to your friend but come on, right?

    I totally know how you are feeling with the cycle…my first was almost cancelled and the word was floated when I started this cycle too. I know that pit in your stomach well.

    I’ll be thinking of you today! Let us know!

  7. Oh no! I’m so sorry you had to deal with all that in one day! I hope today is a better day for you. HUGS!

  8. I’m so very sorry. I hope the cycle has a resurgence and you have your miracle happen.


  9. It’s so hard getting calls like that back to back. Wishing you a better day…


  10. Oh no! The thought of cancellation is so scary. I’m still holding on to hope for you that your cycle will go forward and that you’ll get to retrieve those 8 follies. The universe is just cruel making you answer those 2 calls in a row. Not fair. Hang in there.
    -Follower, and ICLW

    • onepinkline

      I tend to see the universe as cruel so just seems like par for the course. Good news is, not canceled yet! Holding on to the follies for dear life and hoping the estrogen keeps going up.

  11. What a sucky day. I am sorry you had to deal with all of that in one day. Not fun.

    I hope your cycle does not get cancelled.

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