Breakdown for breakfast…

Um, so I think maybe this isn’t going so well. After barely sleeping last night I found myself at the office early to do a little catching up. You know, get a jump on the day? First, my computer wouldn’t connect to the network, and I actually had a vision of snapping it over my knee. Not even sure I’m strong enough to do that but walked down the hall to grab a friend from her office to get her to sit down at my desk and sort it out. She looked at me strangely but I’m pretty sure could judge by the look on my face, didn’t want to ask any questions.

Computer was fixed and I calmed down into my work.

A little while later, while messaging with my BFF on Skype  I found myself sitting there, office door open and tears streaming down my face. The thing is, I couldn’t remember when they started.

Got my self all calmed down a second time and thankfully had one thing to check off after another for the rest of the day. Nothing went wrong and after what felt like 67 hours, the day was finished and I was on my way home.

I really hope I’m not in for 16 more days like that because I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to handle it. I’ve been reading around and either no one else is admitting to being a Lupron nut job or I’m an isolated case of crazy.

If you found yourself completely out of sorts – and I mean really freaking out while on suppression please let me know. I’m a bit nervous that this is going horribly wrong…



Filed under ivf

4 responses to “Breakdown for breakfast…

  1. I don’t know if it’s any real consolation, but fellow Lupron nut job here! I was pretty much an emotional basket case during my time on it. I was able to barely (emphasis on barely) hold it together while I was at work, although I did notice my staff asked me far fewer questions, so perhaps I wasn’t quite the pillar of sanity there either. At home though…wow!

    My husband and I fought (over my blog), and while it was</b? an important issue to me, my reaction was incredibly out of character. Usually, I’m a water off a duck’s back kind of girl, but this time I cried upon first sight of him in the morning to last sight at night (usually around 8:30 pm because by then I’d had it) for 3 days straight. It got so bad that he started calling around to Resolve and other places trying to find someone to talk down Crazy Wife. I even went to the psychologist at my clinic to make sure this was in fact a reaction to the Lupron and not just a horrible new way of being. She confirmed that it was and said it would get better once I started my stims and my system was counterbalanced. I can happily report that that is exactly what happened. I’m now on Day 8 of stims and feeling much much better.

    Hang in there!!

  2. I agree with Callie, this will probably balance once you are stimming— all we are doing is messing with our chemistry. I think it is pretty amazing when I DON’T feel like a lunatic for a few minutes. I get the sad stuff too– (luckily not on lupron, since I agree, the thought of that long is really hard)–
    You can always let your clinic know and ask if there is an alternative med you could try that would suppress but maybe not do the same thing emotionally. And seriously, good luck,. This is crazy making enough no matter how you look at it.
    Oh, the other thing that helped? get a lot of sleep and see if you can write a big L on a sticky note on your computer. When you start to feel like crap, look at the note and remind yourself it is the LUPRON not YOU.

  3. awakeintheworld

    I haven’t been on lupron, but I have read (just this week, in fact) about others having this kind of reaction. I don’t think you’re crazy. This, too, shall pass.

  4. Lupron is the DEVIL! I just did my last lupron shot on Monday. Today the fog is lifting. I didn’t have the reaction you’re having, but I had horrible migraines and incredible fatigue. No advice really, except to remember the goal of all this. A few weeks for the rest of your life with your child.

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